THEMES:
(click to read the lesson description or just scroll)
Attitude || Authenticity || Caring Connections || Compassion || Effortless Action || Gratitude || Honesty || Hope || Kindness || Leadership || Mindfulness || Online Learning || Optimism || Peace || Positivity || Propinquity || Smarter || Thoughtfulness
During the pandemic, I began offering online conversations and learning experiences focused on social and emotional growth, connecting with children from around the world. I now offer these as private, 25-minute, one-on-one sessions on Zoom for youth ages 8–18 (and I’m open to hearing from others if there’s interest).
The video below offers a brief glimpse of the Thoughtfulness topic. While it shows me introducing the idea, the heart of this work is the conversation itself, the back-and-forth exploration that unfolds uniquely with each student. That shared inquiry is where insight, confidence, and growth most often emerge.
To view my availability or to book lesson, use this link (also found in each lesson description).
Authenticity: Uncovering the Real You
Educator Sir Ken Robinson described being “in your element” as spending time on things you’re both good at and naturally interested in. Put simply, when talent and interest come together, people often feel more alive and engaged.
As we grow, it’s common to lose sight of what we enjoy or what comes naturally to us, especially when we feel pressure to fit in or meet outside expectations. Over time, this can make it harder to notice what actually feels true or meaningful to us.
This session invites students to explore authenticity as an ongoing relationship with themselves, rather than something to achieve or perfect. Together, we look at four ways of paying attention to what feels genuine and aligned:
- Telling the truth: Practicing honest self-expression in age-appropriate ways.
- Staying in truth: Noticing when actions feel aligned or misaligned with personal values.
- Trusting the body: Learning to listen to physical cues, emotions, and intuition.
- Accepting yourself: Making room for strengths, limits, and change over time.
Each of these ideas is explored through conversation and examples that match the developmental level of the student.
As students become more aware of what feels authentic to them, they often experience a stronger sense of connection—with themselves, with others, and with the world around them.
Bringing Attention to Positive Events
It’s natural for people to notice potential problems because it’s part of how we learn and stay safe. At the same time, many people find that paying attention to moments that go well, and sharing them with others, can deepen connection and enjoyment. When positive experiences are noticed and shared, they often become more meaningful.
In this session, students practice noticing positive moments in their own lives and finding comfortable ways to talk about them with others. We also explore how to respond when friends or family share good news by learning how listening, curiosity, and encouragement can help those moments feel more fully seen and appreciated.
This session offers a simple, supportive way for students to build awareness, confidence, and stronger connections through everyday experiences.
Caring Connections: 7 Simple Ways to Show You Care
Small, thoughtful moments of engagement can play an important role in relationships and personal well-being. Many people find that caring for others through attention, support, or presence can deepen connection and bring a greater sense of meaning to everyday life.
This session explores a set of simple, practical ways students can express care and strengthen their relationships, while also paying attention to what feels genuine and appropriate for them.
Together, we explore ideas such as:
- Responding to “bids” for attention: Noticing and responding to small moments when someone reaches out for connection.
- Practicing mindfulness: Practicing focused attention by setting aside distractions and showing interest in the moment.
- Lending a hand: Finding simple, realistic ways to support someone who may need it.
- Expressing gratitude: Sharing gratitude or kind words that acknowledge effort and care.
- Celebrating success: Noticing and acknowledging moments of growth or accomplishment.
- Spending time together: Exploring ways to stay connected, whether through conversation, shared activities, or brief check-ins.
- Just being there: Practicing listening and presence when someone needs support.
I’ll share examples for each idea, and students are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences and choose approaches that feel natural to them. By the end of the session, students often have a clearer sense of how small, everyday actions can support connection while respecting their own boundaries and style of caring.
Effortless Action
Ancient Taoist teachings offer a simple idea that many people still find helpful today: life often goes more smoothly when we stop forcing things and start paying attention to how situations are already unfolding. This approach is sometimes called effortless action (wu wei), acting with awareness rather than pushing against everything.
In this session, students are introduced to effortless action as a way of noticing when effort helps and when it creates unnecessary struggle. Instead of trying to control outcomes, we explore how flexibility, simplicity, and self-awareness can support clearer choices and a calmer response to challenges.
Together, we touch on ideas such as:
- Simplicity: Letting go of excess and noticing what actually matters.
- Flexibility: Learning when to bend rather than resist.
- Self-awareness: Paying attention to impulses, emotions, and reactions.
- Letting go: Recognizing when holding too tightly creates stress instead of clarity.
These ideas are explored through conversation and examples that meet students where they are developmentally. The focus is not on adopting a philosophy, but on experimenting with ways of responding to life that feel more grounded, natural, and workable in the present moment.
Gentle Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a simple practice that many people find helpful for feeling more calm, focused, and connected. At its core, mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening right now, without needing to change anything.
In this session, students are gently introduced to mindfulness through simple, age-appropriate practices. We begin with a short breathing exercise to help settle the body, then explore noticing the present moment through the senses, such as sight and sound, and how those experiences feel.
The focus is on curiosity and awareness, not doing anything “right.” Students are invited to notice what they experience and how mindfulness feels for them. Many people find that practicing this kind of gentle attention supports greater presence, self-compassion, and openness when facing everyday challenges.
High Hope People: Seeing a Brighter Future
Hope is often described as the sense that we can influence our own future, that our actions matter and that growth is possible. In this session, students explore hope as a way of relating to challenges with curiosity, agency, and possibility.
Drawing from social science research, we look at several everyday choices and habits that many people find support a more hopeful outlook, such as:
- Noticing possibilities instead of feeling stuck.
- Paying attention to beauty and benefits alongside challenges..
- Supporting positive emotions rather than getting caught in discouraging patterns
- Recognizing strengths as well as areas for growth.
- Setting meaningful goals that stretch and motivate.
- Connecting actions to a sense of purpose.
- Valuing relationships and connection.
Rather than treating these as rules to follow, the session invites students to reflect on which of these ideas feel relevant or useful to them right now. The focus is on noticing how different ways of thinking and acting can influence motivation, resilience, and how the future is experienced.
Honesty and Truthfulness: More Than Just Not Lying
Many people, especially children, first learn that being honest means not telling lies. Over time, it becomes clear that honesty can be more nuanced than that. It often involves noticing not just what we say, but what we leave out and how our actions affect others’ understanding.
In this session, students explore honesty as a way of relating to others with clarity and care. We look at three common areas where honesty shows up in everyday life:
- Sharing accurate information: Speaking truthfully about what actually happened.
- Sharing enough of the truth: Noticing when leaving out important details changes the meaning of what’s being shared.
- Acting in honest ways: Paying attention to whether actions match words and intentions.
Through stories, examples, and conversation, students are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences and the choices they make in different situations. We also explore how honesty connects to trust, integrity, and relationships, recognizing that learning to be honest is an ongoing practice rather than a simple rule to follow.
Improve Your Attitude!
It’s easy to feel like our attitude is shaped entirely by what’s happening around us, especially for children, who don’t always get to choose their circumstances. In this session, students explore the idea that while we can’t control everything, we often have more choice than we realize in how we respond to everyday situations.
To illustrate this, I share the story of Doug, the Dishwasher Guy. Doug didn’t want to do the dishes and felt frustrated about being told what to do. Over time, by looking at the situation differently, he discovered a way to approach the task with more curiosity, humor, and purpose, turning a chore into something he could engage with more willingly.
After hearing Doug’s story, students are invited to reflect on moments in their own lives where a small shift in perspective might change how something feels. The focus isn’t on forcing positive thoughts, but on noticing choices, experimenting with new ways of thinking, and discovering what helps them feel more capable and at ease.
Learning to work with our thoughts in this way can build a sense of agency and independence, helping students feel more confident in how they meet everyday challenges.
Introduction to Leadership
Leadership is often associated with being in charge or having authority, but many people discover that leadership begins much closer to home, with character, trust, and everyday choices.
In this introductory session, students explore leadership as something that grows from how we show up with ourselves and others. We begin by talking about people they admire and noticing the qualities that make those individuals feel trustworthy or inspiring. From there, we look at moments when the student has already demonstrated leadership in their own life, often in small, quiet ways.
Together, we explore qualities such as self-discipline, reliability, integrity, and dependability, not as traits to “have,” but as practices that develop over time. We also reflect on how trust is built through consistent actions.
The session concludes with a conversation about the difference between leadership and power, highlighting how influence rooted in character often feels very different from control or authority.
The Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is often described as the practice of noticing what’s good and meaningful in our lives. Researcher Robert Emmons suggests that gratitude involves two simple ideas: recognizing that good things exist, and noticing that many of them come from beyond ourselves.
In this session, students explore gratitude as a way of paying attention to everyday experiences and relationships. Through conversation and a playful activity sometimes called “Gratitude = Positive Attitude,” students practice noticing and expressing appreciation in ways that feel natural and genuine to them.
We might explore questions like:
- What’s a food you enjoy or feel thankful for?
- Who is someone you appreciate, and why?
- Is there a smell, sound, or place that brings a sense of comfort or happiness?
Rather than focusing on feeling grateful all the time, the emphasis is on noticing moments of appreciation when they arise and exploring how expressing gratitude can support connection, kindness, and well-being over time.
The Practice of Kindness
Kindness is often described as doing something helpful without expecting anything in return. Many people find that when they begin to notice kindness, both in themselves and in others, it becomes easier to contribute to it in everyday ways.
In this session, students are invited to strengthen their “kindness awareness muscle” by sharing examples of kind actions they’ve seen or experienced and exploring simple ways they might choose to act with kindness themselves. The focus is on noticing opportunities and responding in ways that feel genuine and appropriate.
Rather than treating kindness as something to perfect, this session encourages curiosity and participation, helping students see how small, everyday acts of kindness can support connection, well-being, and a more hopeful view of the world.
The Propinquity Effect: Building Stronger Friendships
Propinquity is a word used by psychologists to describe how closeness, physical, emotional, or social, can influence relationships. Many people notice that spending time near others, seeing them regularly, and sharing common interests often makes connection feel easier and more natural.
In this session, students explore propinquity as a pattern they can notice in their own lives rather than a rule they need to follow. We look at questions like:
- How does spending time together affect friendships?
- What makes someone feel comfortable or enjoyable to be around?
- How do kindness, curiosity, and respect shape whether people want to stay connected?
Rather than trying to make people like us, the focus is on awareness, paying attention to how time, attention, and friendliness influence relationships both in person and online. Students are encouraged to reflect on what helps them feel connected to others, and how small, everyday choices can support healthier, more genuine friendships.
Putting Peace First: Learning How to Make a Difference
This session invites students to explore how everyday choices, small and ordinary as they may seem, can shape how they show up in the world. Drawing from the book “Putting Peace First: 7 Commitments to Change the World” by Eric David Dawson, we use these ideas as starting points for reflection rather than rules to follow.
Together, we gently explore these 7 commitments:
- Put Peace First, Every Day
- Raise My Hand
- Open My Heart
- Take a Stand
- Bring Others Along
- Work With My Enemies
- Keep Trying
A central focus of this session is helping students notice that making a difference doesn’t require waiting until adulthood or doing something extraordinary. Peace is explored as a way of responding—through thoughts, words, and actions—that can be practiced now and revisited over time as they grow.
Rather than aiming to “get it right,” students are encouraged to see peace as something they can return to again and again, learning what it looks like for them in their own lives.
The Seven Habits of Optimistic People
Many people notice that optimism tends to grow in certain conditions, especially when attention is given to connection, possibility, and care. Author David Mezzapelle describes optimism as something that can spread through shared experience, not because people are always positive, but because of how they relate to life.
In this session, students explore optimism as a way of responding to challenges and everyday moments, rather than a mood they need to maintain. Drawing from research and examples, we look at seven habits that many people find support a more hopeful outlook:
- Noticing and expressing gratitude.
- Offering time and energy to help others.
- Showing interest and curiosity about people..
- Spending time with supportive, encouraging peers.
- Paying attention to what feels possible rather than discouraging voices.
- Practicing forgiveness as a way of letting go.
- Using small, everyday actions, like smiling, to shift perspective.
These ideas are explored through conversation and examples that meet students at their developmental level. The emphasis is on noticing what feels helpful and experimenting with habits that support resilience, connection, and hope over time.
Simple Skills for Online Learning
Online learning works best when students feel engaged, comfortable, and present, and many students discover that small choices in how they show up can make a real difference in how classes feel.
In this session, students explore simple ways of participating more consciously in online classes, noticing how their behavior can support focus, connection, and learning. We look at practical areas such as:
- Facial engagement: Using expressions to show interest and understanding.
- Body language: Becoming aware of both intentional and unintentional signals.
- Computer setup: Experimenting with screen position and lighting to feel more at ease.
- Attention cues: Finding simple, genuine ways to show presence and focus.
The session draws on the student’s own experiences, inviting them to reflect on what has worked well and what hasn’t in online settings. The tone is light and supportive, with an emphasis on awareness, choice, and building confidence rather than “doing it right.”
These skills are useful not only online, but also in everyday, in-person interactions.
These Five Habits Can Make You Smarter
This session invites students to explore how everyday habits can support learning, focus, and growth over time. Rather than defining “being smart” as something fixed, we begin by talking about intelligence as something people relate to and develop in different ways.
While some aspects of learning are outside our control, there are also simple choices that many people find help them feel more focused, calm, and ready to learn. In this session, students explore five practical habits and reflect on how they might fit into their own lives:
- Getting enough sleep: Supporting attention, memory, and energy.
- Moving the body: Using physical activity to support thinking and mood.
- Staying calm: Learning ways to manage stress and reset when overwhelmed.
- Focusing attention: Practicing ways to concentrate without pressure.
- Asking for help: Recognizing when support can strengthen learning.
The emphasis is not on doing everything perfectly, but on noticing how different habits affect learning and problem-solving over time. Students are encouraged to experiment, reflect, and choose approaches that feel supportive and realistic for them.
The Three Steps to Thoughtful Action
This session invites students to explore how thoughtfulness often begins with awareness and choice. Rather than trying to be thoughtful all the time, the focus is on noticing moments when a thoughtful response might be possible and deciding what feels appropriate in that situation.
Together, we look at three simple steps that can support thoughtful action:
- AWARENESS: Noticing what’s happening both inside yourself and around you.
- CONSIDERATION: Pausing to ask whether you want to respond, and whether you have the time, energy, or resources to do so./li>
- ACTION: Choosing to act or not act in a way that feels intentional and aligned.
I’ll share examples of thoughtful actions, and students are encouraged to reflect on everyday situations from their own lives where these steps might be useful. The emphasis is on awareness and choice, not on doing everything perfectly.
Understanding and Applying Compassion
This session introduces compassion as a way of noticing when someone, or something, is having a hard time and responding with care. Rather than treating compassion as a rule to follow, students are invited to explore what compassion looks and feels like in everyday situations.
We begin by talking about simple, familiar experiences of discomfort or hurt, such as a skinned knee or a tough moment at school, and reflecting on questions like:
- What happened?
- How did it feel?
- Who helped, and how?
- What made their response feel supportive?
From there, students are invited to share moments when they’ve helped ease someone else’s discomfort. Through these stories, many students notice that compassion can show up in small, ordinary ways, and that giving or receiving care often strengthens connection and understanding.
The focus is on awareness and response, not on always knowing what to do. Compassion is explored as something that can grow through attention, practice, and reflection, sometimes quietly, sometimes imperfectly, but always relational.
Like a candle can light another candle while not diminishing its own light, compassion is presented as something that can be shared in ways that feel sustainable and genuine.
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Andy Smallman, LLC
Andy Smallman 